I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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