hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i barfeds in our rink
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
