I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
