I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
