i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
