Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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