I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize