Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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