I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
