She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
