Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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