so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
