i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize