We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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