I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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