Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
