What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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