Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
