just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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