His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
