He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
