Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
