no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
