i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
