May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize