A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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