It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize