New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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