Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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