I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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