My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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