420 ftw
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
