Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
