it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize