She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
