Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
