some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
