grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize