So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Randomize
