I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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