is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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