I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
