Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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