If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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