So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
