Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
