she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
