ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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