So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize