I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
