Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
