it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
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