I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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