Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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