Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
