Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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