I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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