She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
