I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
