Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
