i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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