Your tits are I can't wait for
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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