He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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