I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
