You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
this will be a night to untag.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
