Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
