Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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