Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
