summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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